Is it possible to live without praise and attention?
Much of our anxiety and inner turmoil comes from living in a global culture whose values drive us from the essence of what matters. At the heart of this is the conflict between the outer definition of success and the inner value of peace.
“Unfortunately, we are encouraged, even trained, to get attention when the renewing secret of life is to give attention. From performing well on tests to positioning ourselves for promotions, we are schooled to believe that to succeed we must get attention and be recognized as special. The threshold to all that is extraordinary in life opens only when we devote ourselves to giving attention, not getting it. Things come alive for us only when we dare to see and recognize everything as loving and peaceful.
The longer we try to get attention instead of giving it, the deeper our unhappiness. It leads us to move through the world dreaming of greatness, needing to be verified at every turn. Feelings of oneness grace us only when we verify the life around us. It makes us desperate to be loved, when we sorely need the medicine of being loving.” – excerpts from a Mark Nepo quote
living a more peaceful life without the constant need to feed your ego
As children we rely on attention and praise- this is what makes our hearts soar! Then there's the precarious and sensitive teenage years, when the only emotion needed is to feel accepted, praised, and loved. Feeding the ego- a constant in our lives. How do we live without this attention?
If we are taught to give to others more than wanting and receiving, wouldn't this make our lives more peaceful? There would not be the struggle to find something about ourselves to share so that we feel accepted. At the end of the day, do you really need approval and praise from others that you have a degree, volunteered at your local hospital, ran a marathon, etc. Anything you accomplish is for you. If it isn't just for you, then it isn't truly in your heart.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't share our accomplishments! By all means we love to share with our family and closest friends. But if you find yourself talking about yourself and what you've accomplished more times than not, then you are “needing” to feed your own ego.
As Mark Nepo said, “The longer we try to get attention instead of giving it, the deeper our unhappiness.” Giving feels so much better than needing and wanting. The beautiful thing is, we can start right now. We can start teaching our children to give and not expect anything in return. Chances are- others will make you feel good because if they aren't trying to feed their own ego, they will feed yours.
I hope this article has inspired you and you will want to pass this on to others. Giving praise to others will strengthen your soul.
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